Judiciary jokes

Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents.

Accused: Please consider a lenient sentence, your honor.

Judge: But why?

Accused: Because I’m an orphan.

The judge asked me, "How does 5 to 10 years sound?"

I said, "Sexy."

If you push someone that's bullying, if you kill someone that's murder, if there is no evidence it's nothing.

Some people think "prison" is one word, but to robbers, it's a whole sentence.

I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: "Why didn't you drug her again so she would forget?"

What do a politician and a minister have in common?

Both of them will tell you anything to get money from you.