IOU jokes

I'm a family doctor and I wish I could help but... you're an orphan.

I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.

I now have $999,999.75.

Can I get a HOYA?

I brought my cousin to an arcade and I gave her $5 to go play a game, but she tugged my joystick too hard.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.