Howe jokes
How do you make 7 an even number? Take the "s" out!
A pedophile is chatting on the internet: "On a scale of one to ten, how old are you?"
How did the inkjet printer kill himself?
He drank cyan-ide.
How do you cut ancient Rome in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?
One.
How does Moses make his coffee?
Hebrews it.
How do you get bubblegum out of your hair?
Cancer.
How do you know if your wife is dead?
Sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.
How did the Java programmer's son get rich?
Because of inheritance.
A prisoner was told how he'll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.
How does a mathematician get tan?
sin/cos.
How do you stop your newspaper from flying away in the wind? -- Use a news anchor.
How does a cow become invisible? -- Through camooflage.
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.
How do you count cows? -- With a cowculator.
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buccaneer.
How do trees get online? -- They just log in.
How do Mexicans feel about Trump's wall? -- They'll get over it.
How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? -- Just Juan.
How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.