Howe jokes

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce "unionized".

How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?

Wave.

No matter how much I love cake...

I would never dessert you.

How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

More than three because the basement is still dark!

How do you make holy water?

You take normal water and boil the hell out of it.

How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool?

"Please get out of the pool."

How much does a hipster weigh?

About an Instagram.

How do skeletons have sex?

They bone each other.

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow?

Give her a shovel.

How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?

They'll tell you.

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just Juan.

How do you make holy water?

You boil the hell out of it.