Howe jokes
How did the air beat me at chess? It did that thing, haha!
How did Stephen Hawking die? He lost Wi-Fi connection.
How did Helen Keller burn the side of her head? She answered the iron.
How'd she burn the other side? They called back.
So you know how sheets are always so tight at hotels?
Well I looked under the bed and there is a freaking room cleaner holding the sheets. All he says is "Don't ask or you shall die!"
How did Stephen Hawking get up the stairway to heaven?
He didn’t, there was no lift...!
I like wine how I like my woman.
4 year old locked in a basement.
Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute (C), delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H)."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
How did Stephen Hawking die? He went in the rain! 😂😂😂
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.
How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
How many times do you tickle a squid before it laughs?
TEN-TICKLES
How do you poop?
How do you make Holy Water?
Get regular water and boil the devil out of it.
Someone asked me, "How would you like your steak cooked?"
I said, "On a stove!"
How did Steven Hawking die?
His wife needed a charger and plugged him out.
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: It picks cotton.
How do we know the Ancient Egyptians were into organized crime?
They were always using pyramid schemes!
How do fish get to school?
By the octobus.