Howe jokes
How do you leave an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow!
"How was your day?"
"It was great."
"What was so great about it?"
"I saw a puppy."
"Awww."
"And I ran over it :)"
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He rolled too far away from the outlet on the wall.
My dad told me that his dreams were shattered a few years ago.
Then I asked him how many years ago.
He replied with, "When were you born?"
If 4 birds are sitting on a fence and one gets shot, how many are still on the fence?
None, the rest fly away.
Person 1: How the freak did you get in my house?!?! I locked the door!!!
Person 2: But I'm your mom... I have a key. You dumbass.
How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None. Feminists can't change anything.
How many times does 42 go into 9?
Get in the van to find out.
What did the mechanic say to the other mechanic when he broke the car?
"How will we wrench ourselves out of this?"
I was arrested for eating too much crack on accident. How?
My sister came into my room shoving her ass in my face.
Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride a bike?
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
How many feminazis does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they can't change anything.
Today was a bad day. There was a man throwing butter and cheese at me, how dairy!
How do you clean ash off a stove with chemicals?
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment.
How do you stop a baby from drowning?
Take your foot off its head.
When the teacher calls on you and asks you how many people did Hitler kill?
"One, he killed himself."
Q: How can you tell that a pedophile likes music?
A: He rapes D minor.
"m m, ,m ,mbjbjb" is how she spelled.