What did Warner Brothers get for making that horrible joker sequel?
They got what they fucking deserved!!!!!!!!
It's illegal to go onto someone's property, demand money that they might not have while wearing all black, and threaten horrible things if they don't pay.
But when the IRS does it, it's perfectly fine. HMMMMM . . . .
Jesus loves you" is a wonderful thing to hear in church.
But a horrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
Wade. You're a joke. The worst joke.
Hoped this would be a safer, more fun place to talk to my BP friends, but I guess not. I've also learned that some people think "worst jokes ever" = "terrible unfunny jokes that make light of people who died horribly or otherwise suffered" instead of things like "why did the chicken cross the road?"-type jokes.
Maybe I'm just too old at this point.
you know what's so horrible about this website? when i mimic another person's account, the picture ALWAYS changes color. no more identity theft for me.
It's horrible to make jokes about 9/11 but it's not funny when I found out my mates mum jumped from the 21st floor
Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.
If just Africa had more mosquito nets, millions of innocent mosquitos could be saved from a horrible death of AIDS
Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing? Me: Sure.. ( Expecting a completely different response than what I get. ) Sister: Nvm, they have no difference. Me: * Confused * Sister: They're both horrible.
SOOOO my sister said her first bad word yesterday. Shit. My mum was like what did you just say child??? Sister: I said the cat shits inside like the dog shi- uh oh...... Now I've avoided this stuff by making my own word: Sugarplum. Sugarplum = shit...
My sister made some pie and it tasted horribly... so I said this.... This pie is very sugarplum-y. She said what do you mean by that? I said It tastes like sugarplums...
2 women, Jane and Emma, are in the afterlife waiting for judgement. Emma turns to Jane and says "I'm just curious, but how did you die?"
Jane replies with "I burnt to death."
Emma, shocked, responds with "That sounds horrible! What was it like?"
Jane answers with "It first felt really hot and painful, but then I felt nothing. How did you die?"r> Emma replies with "Well, I believed my husband was cheating on me. I decided to leave work early one day to make sure he was loyal. I found him on the phone with his mother. I thought he was hiding something from me so I ran to the bedroom and found nothing. Then I sprinted to the kitchen and didn't find anything. I then jolted outside to the backyard and just found that he hadn't cleaned the pool. I was so tired from running that I fell over into the pool and drowned."
Jane retorts with "Well if you checked the oven neither of us would be here right now."
Osama's aim was horrible, one of his angry birds missed and hit a field in Pennsylvania.
(A horrible pick up line) are you the two towers? Cause I'd love to take you out đź¤
ya make 10 paintings, you arent an artist ya make 20 meals, you arent a chef but when i kill ONE PERSON, im a "horrible person" and a "menace to society"
I just got my doctor’s test results and I’m really upset about it. Turns out, I’m not gonna be a doctor. My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don’t even care. Today, I asked my phone “Siri, why am I still single?” and it activated the front camera. A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!” As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice. I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it. Then I remembered why I was digging in our garden. The doctor gave me some cream for my skin rash. He said I was a sight for psoriasis. Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions. I don’t have a carbon footprint. I just drive everywhere. Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs. A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree. “You can’t cut me down,” the tree exclaims, “I’m a talking tree!” The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue.” My mom died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without her. What does my dad have in common with Nemo? They both can’t be found. I visited my new friend in his apartment. He told me to make myself at home. So I threw him out. I hate having visitors. When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug. His last wish was to be Frank in Stein. Do you know the phrase “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure”? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted. My husband left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.” I’m not sure what he’s talking about. I opened the fridge door and it’s working fine! Why did the man miss the funeral? He wasn’t a mourning person. It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive. Want to know how you make any salad into a Caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times. When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life. My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back. A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Do you have any last requests?” “Yes,” replies the murderer. “Can you please hold my hand?” I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy. The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved. You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo. Where did Joe go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere. What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support. My parents raised me as an only child, which really pissed off my sister. What did the Titanic say as it sank? I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge! Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens? When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, “Bach, Bach, Bach.” How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry. I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was 5. They laughed at my crayon drawing. I laughed at their chalk outline. My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow. I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work. The most corrupt CEOs are the ones who run pretzel companies. They’re always so twisted. To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state. I was reading a great book about an immortal cat the other day. It was impossible to put down. You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example. I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear. What’s the difference between a hipster and a football player? A football player showers. I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page. The other day, my girlfriend asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me. Why can’t Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school? Because he’s dead.
My girlfriend said she's having a horrible time with her period. I ask her which one but relise she's not talking about school...
We don't see each other very much
A Teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.
But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share ?’ ''Yes madam...My daddy told me a story about my Mom " “OK, let’s hear” said the teacher.
“My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit”. “She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife”. “She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.” “She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”
Pin drop silence in the class !!
''Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher “What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story ?”
“Stay away from Mummy when she’s drunk```...!!!”
A Teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.
But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share ?' ''Yes madam......My daddy told me a story about my Mom " "OK, let's hear" said the teacher.
"My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit". "She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife". "She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops." "She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."
Pin drop silence in the class !!
''Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story ?"
"Stay away from Mummy when she's drunk```......!!!!"
Do you know the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted
When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen. And I could just have his motorcycle.
