Hideout jokes

If you want to see my foes, bring a shovel and bring a map and a getaway car just in case we get caught.

Me and my stepmom went into the forest.

I think I hid the body pretty well, but now I have to hide the gun.

What’s the difference between a school and an ISIS hideout?

I don’t know, I just fly the drone.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are robbing a bank. The police are soon after them, so they hide in a bunch of barrels.

The police arrive and search the area. They come over to the barrel where the brunette is hiding and kicks it. The brunette says, "Woof."

"Oh, it's just a dog," says the police officer, and then kicks the second barrel where the redhead is hidden. The redhead says, "Meow."

"Oh, it's just a cat," says the officer, then kicks the last barrel where the blonde is hidden. The blonde says, "Potato."

To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket, "You can hide but you can't run."

Ever heard of the show "Naked and Afraid"? That's what I call hide-and-seek with my uncle.

To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide, but you can't run.

Where did Sally go during the bombing?

Everywhere.

Friend: Hey, wanna play hide and seek? Me: Sure, I've got a great spot! Me: *grabs knife and runs to my closet*