HI jokes

Did you hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint?

My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”

I met Lebron James, and he was so bald at the time that I could count his hairs.

And that's 1 hair and maybe 2.

Jonny went fishing and he didn’t know how to cast his pole, and he asked his friend Joe how to cast it. Then when he cast, he only cast 3 feet, and he never learned how to do it.

What does Batman have that Superman doesn't?

The ability to visit his biological parents' grave.

What were the balloon's last words to his Father?

"Watch me, Pop!"

Jonny went to Disney and they had sour balls. He asked the cashier for some and he pulled down his pants.

One day I went to talk to my friend.

"Hi John!" I said.

No response.

"Oh, yeah."

I went to pick up the remote and clicked the unmute button.

"Hope that helps!"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on his side, there was a KFC shop.

His YouTube channel is a joke.

"Hi, plane," said the tower.

The orphan can’t play soccer because he doesn’t know where home is, and his school is too dumb to learn.

What did the gay necrophiliac say when his relationship ended?

"That rotten asshole split on me again!"

I was crying at school because my grandpa died. My friends asked what his last words were. I told them his last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"

You know, it was so cold in D.C. the other day, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

Me imagining how Batman's hairline looks like.

Nobody: Me: His hairline kinda do look like a Batman symbol.

What do you call an IT teacher that touches his students?

A PDF file.

How do u get 40 cigarettes in a pack?

U shove them down his throat. 🤣😂

What do you say when a handicapped man forgets something? "He knew it like the back of his hand."

There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”

How do you kidnap Stephen Hawking?

Shut off his computer.