What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you haven't told her twice.
Yo mama so blind that when she played Fortnite, she got her vision back, got 'em!
If a cat hits you with her tail, is it considered being pussy whipped?
If your girl smells like tilapia, don’t let her on top of ya.
Did you hear about the blind prostitute?
Well, you gotta hand it to her.
How did Rihanna know that Chris Brown was cheating on her? There was a different color of lipstick on his knuckles.
Yo mama's so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out of the way.
What is a similarity between a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her?
They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"
Yo mama is so ugly, when there was a tornado, the tornado refused to suck her up.
What’s pink, nine inches, and makes my wife cry when I shove it down her throat?
Her Miscarriage.
How do you get a hippie chick pregnant?
You cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.
Yo mama is so slow, when she stepped on the highway they had to order a crane to come move her from starting traffic.
My girlfriend asked me to tell a joke. I told her to look in the mirror.
We never met again.
Why did Brandon's mum chase him with a knife? Because he didn't let her cum first!
A girl comes home and finds her dad and 4-year-old brother on the sofa. She says, "Dad, why is he wearing that face mask?"
The dad buckles his belt and says, "There's more for you, hunny."
Yo mama so stupid that, when she heard about cookies on the internet, she ate her computer.
Your mama is so stupid, when her phone died, she bared it, lol.
Last Halloween, I went dressed as a woman. When I rang the doorbell, an elderly woman opened it, and I made a grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands.
She immediately called the police and told them exactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First, he asked if my parents were here, and I said nothing. Concerned by my answer, he then asked if I was okay, so I said nothing. He asked me what my name was, and I responded, "Hellen Keller."
Yo mama so stupid, when her phone dies, she buries it.
Pedophile: You dropped your candy.
Girl: Thanks!
Pedophile stares as she slowly bends over to pick up her candy.
Pedophile: It looks a bit dirty, do you wanna come back to my house and get a new one?
Girl: How far is your house?
Pedophile: It's that white one right over there.
Girl: You mean that van next to a dumpster?
Pedophile: Yep, it's that one.
Girl:.... Sure! :P
Audience:.........Dumbass girl.
