I'm thinking about telling my daughter there's a ghost in the house. At least then I can wear a bed sheet at night and fuck her without her being suspicious.
What's the similarity between your mum and West Ham?
Your mum blows spunk bubbles from her ass.
Yo mama so ugly, when Santa saw her, he said, "Ho, ho, hole shit!"
Yo mamas so poor the ducks through bread at her
A girl asked her mom, "Why is my name Walmart?"
Her dad replied and said, "Because that’s where you were made."
Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?
My wife's always nagging me. "You don't let me have any friends, I abuse her, and I'm always coming back late." So I thought I would treat her. I popped up in the attic and introduced her to two women.
My Indian wife said last night if her fanny would taste like vindaloo curry, I said I've smelt your fucking armpits, you've got no chance.
A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.
Your mom is so ugly her face would split in half when she sees you.
The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”
A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."
Jantje goes on a walk with his grandmother. Jantje sees 1 dollar on the street and picks it up.
The grandmother says: "Hey, Jantje! No picking up things from the floor! They are ugly and bad!"
Then they keep walking. The grandmother slips and asks Jantje to help her stand up. Jantje answers: "No! Everything on the ground is ugly and bad."
How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?
Change your name to "Rape."
Yo mama so fat, that’s why people don’t want to marry her, except for fat guys.
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
What’s similar between a pregnant 12 year old and the fetus inside of her? They’re both thinking oh shit my mums gonna kill me!
Computers are females because when they're down, you always charge her.
my girlfreind dumped me; so i stole her wheelcar and guess hwo came crawl back
So a lady came up to me today at the bank and she asked me to check her Balance so I pushed her over
