Heart

Heart jokes

We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read, "It's a bumpy road but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.

My grandfather has the heart of a lion... And a lifetime ban from the zoo.

Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?

Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.

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  • The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.

    (Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.

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  • Bambi was calmly eating grass. All of a sudden, a red dot pointed near his heart caught his attention. He looked around anxiously, and he saw a man in camouflage. He whispered, "Time to join mother, Bambi!" Bambi knew what this meant. He ran. He heard a gunshot, followed by a wave of extreme pain. Bambi fell to the ground. He glanced at his leg, which was no longer attached to his body. The man in camouflage came up to him and stabbed him in the heart. Everything went black...

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  • If Stephen Hawking had a heart attack, would he go to hospital or Curry's PC World?

    Don't break someone's heart because they only have one; instead, break their bones... they have 206.

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  • Marriage is like a deck of cards.

    In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond.

    By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.

    What is a pirate's favorite letter?

    You'd think it'd be R, but really his heart will always belong to the C.