Forensics jokes

One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.

Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."

I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf.

Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the PSG training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE! 🤬😡

I hate double standards. If you burn a body at a crematorium, you're doing a good job. If you burn a body at home, you're destroying evidence.

Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.

Why should you always wear rubber?

So you don’t leave DNA evidence.

11:45 - Arrived at crime scene.

11:45 - Examined body. Signs of struggle.

11:45 - Found murder weapon in drain.

11:45 - Realized watch was broken.

Why are "Redneck" murder cases the HARDEST to solve?

Answer: Because ALL the DNA "Matches", and there are NO "Dental Records".

If you push someone that's bullying, if you kill someone that's murder, if there is no evidence it's nothing.

How do you make sure a rape victim doesn’t testify against you?

Kill her first.

Hey, I’m George, and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.

Go into someone’s search history, and find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.

Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans?