New Find Jokes - Page 27 - Worst Jokes Ever

im bone dry in material but i have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes after i tell you all these rib ticklers you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny you outta rip my spine out

A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system. He agrees and the doctors turn to dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.

Chinese takeout $15 . 00 gas to get there $1.50 . Getting home to find they,very forgotten one of your dishes RICELESS

I entered kians house, at the top of the stair i was greeted my greatest fantasy, JOHN, he said in a manly tone, "hello there" i walked slowly up the stairs and greeted him back, as i walk past his room i felt uneasy , i walk into kians room to find no one, i turn around and gasp, john is standing there, a bulge had appeared and poked me as he got nearer, he pushed me onto kians bed, the bed was that bad it broke as i fell onto it, john says "a broken is nothing to worry about" i look up at him in disbelief, hes more masculine than i thought, he thrust himself onto me, his crotch area sticky to the touch, he then ripped a fart as he bent over, at this point i knew it was to late john, the fart he ripped(sticky to the touch) had me so in shock i wasnt ready for what was next, he picked and jamp on my head ripping the most monstrous, enormous, deadyl, sticky to the touch fart id ever seen, it knocked me out, i awoke to find i was in the WALLS, i looked out to find i was in the glory hole, my worst nightmare had become reality, i fully understood my purpose in life was to the holy glory hole, i heard "GRANDAD CAN I GET SOME V-BUCK" i then knew i was in for some kian treats The end

Hey math: I’m really tired of trying to find your X. Accept that she’s gone, and solve your own problems, dude!

I'm supposed to put a joke here. But I can't find a mirror...can you find one yourself? Im sure you'll laugh.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

Roses are red Violets are blue two gay lovers find out they are brothers

three scientists are doing an experiment, they are trying to find out what happens when you stick a cork in an elephants ass. in the lab they each look at each other and decide that they should hire a monkey to do it. the monkey sticks the cork up the elephant's ass and the scientists wait three weeks.

the monkey pulls out the cork and all three scientists go back and discus what they saw. the first one, standing one mile away, says all he could see was a wave of brown then it all went black, the second, standing two miles away, said the same, the third, who was standing three miles away, said all he could see was the other two get consumed by a massive cloud of brown.

Why couldn’t the guy make bubbles?

-He couldn’t find the right s o l u t i o n.

Why can you never find a virgin cow on a field with no bulls for miles? Just ask the redneck farmer

three indans get captured by an enemy leader and the leaders says "go in the woods and find 10 fruits of the same kind.The first one comes back with apples.The enemy leader says "shove them up your butt and don't make a sound or i will kill you.He get to two and yell.The leader killed him.He goes up to heaven.The second guy come back and has grapes he gets to 9 and laughes.The leader kills him.He goes to heavenThe first guy askes the second guy why did you laugh you had it in the bag.The second guy said he say the third guy carring pineapples.

Your at a buffet, you think your hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of your self, you get stuck looking at sides in the buffet, a roly poly gal you see in corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end, you go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slamed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she's is tenderizing you for dinner.

A guy walks into a bar and sees a 1 foot piano player over by the door. He goes over to the bartender, orders a beer, and says “man, how’d you get such a short piano player.” The bartender says in response” there’s a genie in the back of the bar.” The man finishes his beer and runs to the back, looking for the genie. He finds it and says “I wish for a million bucks.” Suddenly, a million ducks fly out of the bar. The customer looks confused and goes back to the bartender and says “what just happened” the bartender replies “the genie is half deaf, do you really think I’d ask for a 12 inch pianist?”

One man's trash is another man's treasure... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.

Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same.

The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr. Independent and insists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair's getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!

A guy is due to meet his friends for drinks at a bar but arrives late. When he does eventually turn up his friends ask why he is late.

The guy says, "Well, you won't believe what just happened. I was walking my usual route via the rail tracks when suddenly I saw a young, naked woman tied up next to the tracks. Of course I untied her and we had sex because I freed her."

The friends are cheering and one friend asks, "So... did you get any head?"

The guy replies, "No, I couldn't find it."