Financial Assistance jokes

Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy. You wouldn't believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.

I donated 100 dollars to a blind children’s charity. Too bad they won’t ever see a dime of it.

Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.

I'm a family doctor and I wish I could help but... you're an orphan.

I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.

I now have $999,999.75.