Financial Assistance jokes

Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy. You wouldn't believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.

Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.

I donated 100 dollars to a blind children’s charity. Too bad they won’t ever see a dime of it.

A homeless man sits in front of a Home Depot. A man walking out of the store hands him some money and asks, "Why are you in front of the Home Depot?" And the man says, "Isn't it obvious? Hoping somebody accidentally drops the house they just bought."

I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.

I now have $999,999.75.