DoS jokes
If Uranus is so gross, why do they take HD photos of it?
What do you call frozen Ibuprofen?
A chill pill.
What do lesbians do when they have a problem? They finger it out.
What do you call a girl with no legs? Sarah.
What do you call an Olympic gold medalist skiing? Not Sarah.
Q. What do you call a Mexican Jedi?
A. a PadaJuan.
Q: What do you call a religious Wookie?
A: Jewbacca.
"Kill yourself. Stop thinking whether or not to do it, you dumb fucking cunt, no one likes you. Jump off a fucking 3 story building, bitch."
What do you call a skeleton who went out in the snow? A numb skull!
A blind guy walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. He then picks his dog up by the tail and starts to swing him around. The bartender asks him, "Hey man, what the hell you doing?"
Blind guy says, "Just looking around."
What do you call a Mexican midget?
A paragraph, because he’s not a full Esé.
Do you know why no one speaks about George Washington?
John Adams turned him into atoms. John Adams was an alien.
Dark Jokes R Like Puppies:
Once they come out they are trash, but once it starts to get older, that’s when it’s noticed, but when it gets too old, you either proclaim it dead or never talk about it.
(I would never do that though I love puppies)
What do you call a goldfish that got third place? A bronze fish.
How do you start a rave? Throw a flash bang into an epileptic children's ward.
An old man walks in a forest with a child, and the child says, "It's dark, and I'm scared." The old man says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk out alone."
Parents: Why do you use your phone on the toilet?
Me: The same reason you read the newspaper on the toilet.
What do you call a bad bull?
A bully.
Why do I call my dog a vibrator?
Because every time my dog acts like a dildo, I beat him, and when I beat him, he shakes. What do you call a shaking dildo? A vibrator, therefore I call my dog a vibrator.
What did the water say to the water? "Water" you doing?
Do you want to hear a joke about pizza?
Wait, no. It's too CHEESY!