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DoS jokes

What do a convention of nerds and Kurt Cobain's garage have in common?

There's brains all over the place.

A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is okay to use the new device. The couple agrees, and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.

Head of Company: "We need to stop testing our products on animals."

Consultant: "Why? The shampoo companies do it."

Head of Company: "Yeah, but we make dildos."

Teacher: "People with depression never get anywhere in life."

Student 1: "My mom has depression, but she died."

Student 2: "My sister has depression and she's going to therapy."

Student 3: "My dad has depression, and he's doing REALLY well."

  • 3

    • Me: What do you call a group of retards?

    Friend: Down town?

    Me: Nope, target practice.

  • 0

    • What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Slap it on the arse and tell it to keep going!

    I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"

    The first priest asks the second, "How long do we keep the babies in the holy water?" The priest replies, "No clue... I close my eyes when I masturbate!"

  • 0

    • A boy breaks a vase, and his mom says it's ok, honey, mistakes happen. How do you think you were born?