DoS jokes
Q: How do you make a fire?
A: Oil and dead babies.
What are you doing, son? It has been an hour, and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.
Mum, actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...
Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!
What do you call a mountain of kittens?
A meowtain.
What do you call a deer with no legs and no eyes?
Still no idea. 😂
What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
Lean beef!
Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?
Because what is he gonna do, tell his parents?
What's the difference between homework and a hooker? They both start with an "H", but we all know which one we would like to do.
Q: Why do men say "ladies first?"
A: So they can look at their a**.
Why do men sag their pants so low and still wear a belt?
The same reason women bring their purse on a date and don't pay.
My mom said to go do the dishes, but she did them before me, so I killed myself.
This is a big joke, so yeah, you can't tell me what to do. This joke is funny, so laugh, okay?
Now that you're done laughing, let me say a joke... Get it? There was no joke! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahhaha lololol so funny, I'm ninja!
How do you pet a psychopath's cat?
You get it out of the microwave.
Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?
Because they'll get a hole in one!
What do you call a duck with no head?
Your mom gay.
What did the airplane say to the paper plane? Why do you look like a wimp?
Why don't orphans do homework?
They don't have a home to do it in.
Why are orphans rude at school?
What's the school going to do? Call their parents?
A nun went to the pub and ordered a gin. The bartender said to her, "I thought nuns weren’t allowed to drink?" and she said, "Not usually, but I am doing the bishop a favor."
The bartender then asked if she was coming to the music evening, and she said, "No, I am with the bishop tonight."
What do a blonde and a cow have in common?
They're both fat af.