DoS jokes
When do eggs hatch?
At the CRACK of dawn!
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
What do boobs and toys have in common?
Kids end up playing with toys, but adults end up playing with boobs.
When do you go on red and stop at green?
A watermelon.
Do you like all the jokes I’ve been “cracking?”
Q: What do you call an angry monkey?
A: Furious George!
I was staying over at my friend's; for the purpose of the joke, he shall be called Kian. It was 03:00 am and everyone else was asleep when I heard a soft banging on the wall. I left the room to inspect it. Kian lived with his grandad John Hauge; it was thought he had a huge slong.
The banging was getting louder, and so too was my heartbeat. I opened John's door and ventured into the room. John was fully naked. There was a glory hole through the wall where I could make it Kian's ass. This is what I have been waiting for. I rip off my shorts, which Ali G bought for me, and silently moved towards John. I shoved [my] 1-inch wonder in his ear. John furiously turned around and slapped me with his cock, "You little gimp, get on the bed."
Kian came in the room with a 2-litre bottle of Irn Bru. He demanded, "What the fudge are you doing?"
I replied smoothly, "Kian, you tracksuit warrior, you have a camel toe!"
Kian fires back, "Shut it, Paul, you have genital warts!"
John screams, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
He then gives us it so rough I can't walk the next day, but [I] feel pleasured for eternity.
By Lewis
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.
Father: Son, you can do butter!
What do you call a 6 year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What do you call a no "r"-med T-rex?
A T-ex.
What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
High definition or addictionary.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No-eye-deer (no idea).
What do you call a fish without eyes?
- Fsh.
If you have 20 apples and you ate 2, how many do you have left?
0 because you have 20 and take away 2, you have 0 left.
Do you want to buy my Hoover?
I mean... it's just collecting dust.
What do you call an infant with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you get when you cross an eagle with a lion?
A griffin.
While fucking a hot auntie, pressing tightly her boobs and fondling, He: What do you feed your babies? She: Milk and orange juice. He: Wow, which side is orange juice? 😋
Why do cheetahs always win?
Because they cheat!
Where do sheep go to shop?
Woolmart.