why do ducks have feathers? *so you don't see their butt*quack* (crack)
What do cells call their friends with? A cell phone.
That moment when you realize you do not have a joke and someone ends up laughing at what you still wrote anyway.
What do people say to knights when they go to bed? Good knight!
A Mexican was doing a magic trick. He said, "uno, dos," then disappeared without a trace.
I asked the doctor doing my prostate exam where I should put my pants. "Next to mine" was not the answer I was expecting.
What do you call a aligator in a vest an investigator ;)
Why do emo people want to be called scene now? The only thing I've seen from them is their suicide rate climbing.
A man is meeting a client in Japan, but arrives a day early. When night hit, he went out with a prostitute. They're having sex, but the prostitute kept shouting "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!", so the man thinks he's doing a good job. The next day, the man meets his client and they go golfing, and the client gets a hole in one. The man praises him by going "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!". His client turns around confused and says, "What do you mean wrong hole!?"
My friend:What are you doing Me:I ́m making holy water My friend:How? Me:I ́m boiling the hell out of it.
How do you make a tissue dance?
You give it a little boogie.
How do you make any salad into a Caesar salad? You stab it 23 times.
How do you get a clown to stop smiling?
You shoot him in the face.
What do you call a place where people die?
Rosshall Academy.
What do you call a retreat in war?
A backup plan.
How do you knockout an unorthodox blue tooth?
You get a good connection.
Do the French people smoke weed or oui'd?
What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? -- Tequila Mockingbird.
What do you get when you cross a pedophile and an elementary school? Predator 3.
What do you call a pansexual pedophile? Jesus
