DoS jokes
Why is the day you do laundry, cook, clean, iron, and so on called a day off?
Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."
I did so much research that I got bone-tired from doing this, tibia honest. You probably didn't find that humerus. I got a skeleton of these puns. I guess I could learn a femur puns. I was wondering if the creators of this site could talus how they come up with puns or maybe give some advice? I'm only 14 years old.
How do you confuse Helen Keller? You rearrange the furniture and glue doorknobs to the walls.
I hate double standards.
Burn a body at a crematorium, you’re “being a respectful friend.” Do it at home and you’re “destroying evidence.”
How do you think the unthinkable? With an iceberg.
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? About half way.
What do you call a brave octopus? Octobrave.
What do you call a three-humped camel?
Pregnant.
What do you call frozen web?
A web-cicle.
What do you call a passport for Mandalorians?
A Pre Visa!
What do you call a bar run by Gungans?
Jar Jar Drinks.
What type of flour do orphans use to bake with...? Self-raising flour!
What do you call a flying octopus?
An octocopter! 🚁
A boy went to a costume party with a girl on his back. Someone asked him what he was supposed to be. He answered, "A turtle."
"Then why do you have a girl on your back?" the guy asked again.
The boy answered, "It's Michelle."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Sally.
Sally who?
You're going to bed right now.
What do you call a person with no eyebrows?
Ms. Burgos.
Do you know who invented paper?
Cai Lun!
“RIP” Cai Lun.
What do you call a baby in the shower? A baby in the shower.
What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?
CURRY in a hurry.