What do you call a fish without eyes?
-Fsh
If you have 20 apples and you ate 2, how many do you have left?
0 because you have 20 and take away 2, you have 0 left.
Do you want to buy my Hoover?
I mean... it's just collecting dust.
What do you call an infant with no legs?
GROUND BEEF
What do you get when you cross an eagle with a lion?
A griffin.
While fucking a hot auntie, pressing tightly her boobs and fondling, He: What do you feed your babies? She: Milk and orange juice. He: Wow, which side is orange juice? 😋
Why do cheetahs always win? Because they cheat
Where do sheep go to shop? Woolmart
Where do sheep go to shop? Shears.
What instrument do a pair of sheep play? The two-baaaa.
Do you know a way to really freak out someone that works at a car dealership?
You say, "Tell me if you can hear me," then get in the trunk and start screaming.
There was this guy who asked a girl how much her hand jobs are. "$25k." How much are your blowjobs? "$50k." How much do you charge to have sex on the street? REPLY: "I would if I had a pussy."
My wife is an optimist. Our first night together, she handed me a Magnum XL condom. I didn’t know what to do, so I made her a balloon animal 🎈🦒.
What do you call a chair?
I don't know. What?
Oh, hi, Chairity!
Why do they tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast.
What do cows like to watch? Moovies.
What do you call a cow on steroids? A bull-y
What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
Car-los
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.
why do lions always lose at poker?
because they always play against cheetas
