DoS jokes
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?
An animal abuse warrant.
What do a moose and a triceratops have in common?
Both have noses.
What do a friend and a mouse have in common? They will both be angry if you throw bricks at them.
Alzheimer's protesters march chanting. "What do we want? Better treatment... When do we want it? ...Want what?"
I asked my sister to get me a cup of fruit punch. I realized she was taking a bit so I walk to the kitchen and noticed that she spilled it on herself. I asked her, "How did you do that?" but there was no response.
If you want to punch someone, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Pssh.
What do you call a bunch of llamas?
Alpaca llama.
Why do cheetahs have spots? Chicken pox.
Why do cheetahs run?
Why not?
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. Okay, I can't do this anymore.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.
How do trees find each other? They log-ate!
Why do you want me?
Cus u like me...
What do you mean?
You love me.
No.
Look down.
How do you turn your dog into a watchdog?
Get it a Rolex!
Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? Because they can’t run.
A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. "What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked.
"Not a bunch, a herd," her friend replied.
"Heard of what?"
"Herd of cows."
"Of course I've heard of cows."
"No, a cow herd."
"What do I care what a cow heard? I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"
How do you know if an Asian has broken into your house?
Your dog is gone. ;)
A child asks his father, "How do you get pink eye?"
Son, I was told it’s from scratching your butt, then rubbing your eyes.
Then the son asks, "How did I get Fungi?" As the father was about to answer, the boy says, "Ohh, so is it from scratching my stinky feet, then rubbing my eye?" ———-Fungeye
What do [you] call Tyler Brown?
A spaz.