DoS jokes
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they're all shellfish.
Why do dogs like skeletons?
Because they're boneheads.
Why do bunnies like Bruno Mars? Because he got 24 carrots.
Son: Hey Dad, what's an alcoholic?
Dad: Well son, do you see those 4 cars? An alcoholic would see 8.
Son: Dad, there are only 2 cars.
What do TVs and girls have in common?
They both show you stuff when you turn them on!
What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?
Long John Silvers or Captain D's.
What do you call an angry Texan?
A Confederate leader.
What do you call a farting boxer?
Gaseous Clay.
Why do tables never need wheelchairs?
Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.
What do you call Stephen Hawking going fast?
Hot Wheels.
What do you call a cow in a moving van?
A: A mooving cow.
What do you call a midget psychic that has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large.
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
What do you call the worst joke teller of all time?
Ben or Chris?
Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
Because they're ugly and smell bad.
Why do some men call their testicles "bells"? Because it's next to their "ding-dong."
What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other?
LEAN BEEF!
What do you call a toddler lying in the middle of the road? Speed bump.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
What did the cake say to the fork?
"Do you want a piece of me!!!"