DoS jokes
Me walking in to the office:
Principal: Tell me, what did you do?
Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...
What did the mincrater do when his Xbox turns off?
He raged! 😱
So you know "The Lion King."
Do you remember Simba?
Well, his dad is really strong, and he walks really fast, but Simba walks really slow.
So I told him to Mufasa.
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.
What do you do during a shooting? Why, join in, of course...
How do you make a juggler laugh? You tickle his balls.
What do you call a lazy piece of meat?
A meatloaf.
What do you call an iPhone put into a smoothie maker?--An Apple smoothie.
How do you call on a mail man who is carrying rotten fruit?
Come post!
What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker?
Hop in!
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day, and the teacher was talking about life. The teacher asked him, "Little Johnny, how do you want your wife to be like?" Little Johnny answered, "Like the moon." The teacher said, "That's such a beautiful answer because it's calm and peaceful." Little Johnny replied, "No, because it appears at night and disappears in the morning."
I wrote a passage to stop about bullying, and it was easy. Do you know why?
Because I am a bully!
How do you make any salad a Caesar salad?
Stab it 23 times!
Q: What do you call a funny midget?
A: Kevin
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope...
Son: Hey Dad, can I play Fortnite?
Dad: I don't know, do you want a girlfriend?
What do you call an orphan with no legs in an adoption center?
Answer: Who cares?
How do you drown a Blonde? You put a scratch and sniff sticker in a pool.
What do you call a flying sheep?
A muttonbird.
What do you call a sheep with wings?