DoS jokes
What do Will from "Stranger Things" and the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air have in common? They're both named Will, and their lives both got flipped, turned upside down.
What do you call a pig in a farm?
- A pig in a farm.
Punch an orphan in the face what they gonna do? Tell there parents
What do you call a chair that smokes weed?
A high chair.
What do you call a ghost's fart?
A spirit bomb.
What do you call a cringey Indian man? A Cringian.
Sorry, the joke is bad :(
Why do elephants paint their toes red, blue, green, orange, brown, and yellow?
So they can hide in a bag of M&Ms.
Why do women have periods?
Because they deserve them, haha!
How do you help a constipated person?
You scare the shit out of them!
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
What's a good way to masturbate?
Get somebody to do it for you.
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Pick it up and suck it off...
What medicine do you take when your butt hurts?
Answer: Assprin.
What do you call a spice with a PHD?
Dr. Pepper
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
De-calf-inated.
He: I'm Nike, and you're McDonalds.
She: Why?
He: 'Cause I'm doing it, and you're loving it. :)
How do you make a fruit punch?
You give it a pair of boxing gloves.
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eyed deer.
What do u call a deer with no eyes or legs? Still no eyed deer.
What do u call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no balls? Still no f*#$in eyed deer.
Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "Your hair color is fabulous." Woman: "Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store."
Man: "You look like a dream." Woman: "Go back to sleep."
Man: "I can tell that you want me." Woman: "Yes, I want you to leave."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: "Do not enter. -OR- Stop."
Man: "Your body is like a temple." Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?" Woman: "I hate you."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
What is Alan Turing's reincarnation doing?
Getting revenge for what some people said about him being gay.