What do you call fly with no wings, a walk
Why do people always tell actors to break a leg
Because every play has a cast
how do you get ten babys in a bucket?
with a blender
So I was playing on my phone, and my mom said to go and take the trash out, so I pick up my sister and threw her in the garbage bin and said, "Mom told me to." And when I came back in, my mom said not to do that ever again, but then I told her that she says not to lie, so I was doing the right thing. š
What state do miners hate?
Oregon.
What do cats eat for breakfast?
"Mice Krispies!"
What can you do for a magic house?
Make it fly!
What do you call a giraffe without a bowtie? Neck-ed.
What do a bag of chips and a gun have in common?
When you pull either one out in class, everyone all of a sudden wants to be your friend...
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they actually come back.
What do you call a school bus driver that can not walk.? A silly š school bus driver
Do you want to play Titanic?
When I say iceberg, you go down on me.
what type of tea do you drink with the queen of england?
royal-tea
Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor. Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suctioned cupped herself to the floor.
She yelled out for her husband, "Bruce! Bruce!" and he came running in. "Bruce, Iāve bloody suctioned myself to the floor!" she said.
"Sātruth, Sheila!" Bruce said, and tried to pull her up. "Youāre stuck fast girl. Iāll go across the road and get me mate Cobber."
They came back and they both tried to pull her up from the floor. "No way, we canāt do it!" Cobber said, "So letās try Plan B."
"Plan B?" exclaimed Bruce, "Whatās that?"
"Iāll go home and get me hammer and chisel and weāll break the tiles under her," replied Cobber.
"Spot on!" Bruce said, "While youāre doing that, Iāll stay here and play with her nipples."
"Play with her nipples?" Cobber said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate!"
"No... " Bruce replied, "But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are a lot cheaper."
If you're gay, then what the f*** are you doing trying to walk straight?
What has tree roots and what do I have for kids? What is the difference between a human and a used tire?
Tree roots are under the tree, and used tires are under the Hummer.
What do you call an obnoxiously loud fog horn? A beginner saxophonist.
What did Hellen Keller do when she fell in a hole?
She screamed until her hands got tired.
What do you call a tree š² that is magic? A magic tree š³
What do you call a magic car?
A human.
