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DoS jokes

Three men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live only if they could achieve one thing: They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each.

The first person returned with apples. The leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1... 2... he screamed.

The next person came back with grapes. 1, 2, 3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing; he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well. "Well, I saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples!"

A lady runs into a police station and yells, "Help, help! I've been graped!"

A police officer says, "Do you mean raped?"

The girl then replies, "No, there was a bunch of 'em!"

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    • Kid goes to the kitchen.

    Mom: What are you doing here?

    Kid: Just checking out the knife.

    Mom: So you've chosen death.

    What do a politician and a minister have in common?

    Both of them will tell you anything to get money from you.

    Why did the Catholic priest suck dick at a glory hole?

    Because someone asked him what he would do for a Klondike bar.

    How do you trick a Catholic priest into using the glory hole at an adult bookstore? Tell him it is a confessional booth.

    What do you call a devil texting you? Travelers on the way. 😈🤣

    What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class?

    "You could do with Ramadan lasting all year, couldn't you?"

    Say hi to outer space. Hi, now say how are you doing to the moon. Hi, how are you doing? Why are you wasting your time? XD lol

    What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs, and sits in front of your door? Mat.

    What do a doctor and a girlfriend/boyfriend have in common?

    They both break your heart.

    Can you tell me the real answer to this joke?

    What do you call a drone that takes the long way around?