DoS jokes
Employer: Can you perform under pressure?
Me: No, but I do a pretty good "Bohemian Rhapsody."
What do lemons š wear in the rain?
Yellow jackets.
If you're mad, hire an orphan, what are they gonna do, tell their parents? š¤£š¤£
Orphan: I want to kill my parents.
Random kid: I donāt think you have the facilities to do that, big man.
*The doctor asking why I've broken 19 bones in the past week*
*My abusive mum- Go on, tell him!*
Well what am I gonna do now...
Why do orphans enjoy orgasms?
What do Cavemen poop in?
A Neander stall.
If you have a broken bone, do you have broken skin?
Why do orphans love having sex?
Because they can finally call somebody "daddy."
what do you call a cow that fell?
Ground beef.
What do you call dolls in a line?
Barbie queuing.
How do angels š make holy water š§?
They boil the hell out of it.
What do you call a musician š©āš¤ who drinks soda and sings š¤ at the same time?
A popsinger.
What do you call a sick eagle?
Ill-eagle! š
Why do cheetahs never get an A+ on a test? They always cheetah!
How do pedophiles follow the law?
They drive it slow in the school zone.
This man walks into a bar and says, "How do I get service here?"
The assistant bar attendant tells him to take a seat as the bartender will be there to serve him shortly. After 2 minutes, the man says this is ridiculous, that he has to wait. The assistant then offers him a bar snack of free nuts, which the man duly eats. Another 2 minutes go by, and the man then says, "OK, I get it, no service of beer, but free nuts," to which the assistant says, "Hell no, the game starts in 10 minutes." Everyone laughs and claps.
What do you call numbers that donāt stay in place?
Roaminā Numerals.
How do we know Stephen is dying in hell?
Thereās a stairway to heaven.
What do you call a ghost bee?
Boobees.