DoS jokes
If chickens wake up when the rooster crows, then when do ducks wake up?
At the quack of dawn.
Why do depressed people want to kill themselves?
To be loved on the news show for 10 minutes.
What do you do when you get locked outside your house? You talk to the lock, because communication is key.
What do planets read?
Comet books.
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
What do planets use to download music?
Nep-tunes.
What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.
Where do depressed people go to eat?
Suicide Sonic.
Why do orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't coming.
An orphan goes up to someone. The guy says, "Where are your parents?"
The orphan says, "Why do you think I'm wearing ripped pyjamas?"
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't comin'.
Who used to say, "Who loves orange soda?" Kel loves orange soda. Yes, I do, do, do, doooo! Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes, I dooooo! Kel Mitchell from Kenan and Kel.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass is tickling their ballsacks!
What do you call an ant with so much power?
A ter-mite.
What do you call an injured person who doesn't want to play a game with you? A sore loser.
Bf: Babe, do you love me?
Gf: Of course, why do you ask?
Bf: I heard that your mom passed away, and I went to pick some roses for you to try to cheer you up, and then I remembered why I went to the garden.
Why do orphans like milk so much?
Because they got no milk as a baby.
How do you get a Koala to fall asleep?
Sing a koala-by.