DoS jokes
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
Why do orphans not play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
What do you call a Mexican's prison?
The border.
My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.
I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"
I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"
How do you punish a blind kid?
Rearrange the furniture.
What do ya call a legless prostitute in a strawberry field?
A jammy cunt.
What do you call a bunch of wheelchairs on top of one another?
A vegetable rack.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
What do frogs wear for shoes? Open toad.
What does your mom say to you? "Love you, moody."
Why do orphans go to church?
So at least they will have someone to call father.
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.
What do you call a dwarf with borderline autism? Jimothy.
A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was, “She was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?” The wife replies, “Change the damn diaper, you idiot.”
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!
What do you call an Asian receptionist?
Tai Ping.
How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?
Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.
How do you make a Tico dance? You put a little boogie in it.
My Mother: Wanna hear the song, "Chloe, your the one I want" on Pandora?
Me: No, I am tired of that song and I am annoyed by it.
Mom: Don't talk back to me like that, young lady.
Me: / someone else? - -gets silent in da room-
Brother: Yeah, this song is very annoying, but maybe better than the Chelsea song.
Joke is here now what do you do if you hear the name Chloe?
Why do some couples make their status "single" after a small argument? Like, I don't put "orphan" after I get into an argument with my family.
What song genre do the national anthems fit into?
Country.