DoS

DoS jokes

Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.

If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.

I can do a very good Michael Jackson impersonation. I just need a kid who can keep a secret.

How many skinheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

10; 1 to do it and 9 to back him up.

I was at school one day, and my teacher gave me homework. Once I got home, I did not do my homework, but I watched TV. After the movie, I finally went to go do my homework. I was almost done with my homework when I got to the last question. I didn't know the answer, so I asked the closest living being to me, which was my dog, and I asked him: what's two minus two? He said nothing.

Q: What do Burger King and Michael Jackson have in common?

A: They put meat on five-year-old buns.

What do you call a blonde in the freezer?

Her parents named her Jessica, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.

I burned an orphan's hand and then they said, "You will pay for this."

Me: "What are you going to do? Tell your parents?"

Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?

In case they get a hole in one!

What do you call a dead woman in the back of your car?

Idk, I just have a couple in the backseat.

Why do Imagine Dragons dream about mythical creatures?

Because they're believers.