What do you call a dog with no legs?
Ground beef.
DoS Jokes
Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?
Friend: What?
Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.
Why do terrorists like the Twin Towers?
It's the next thing they blow up.
Why do orphans like to be robbers in cops and robbers?
So they will be wanted.
Do you know Joe?
Joe mama, mama, a, a, mama, a, a, amam.
Blitz: "HOLD ON! You better move that pussy wagon right now, or I’m gonna..."
Vortex: "You'll do what?"
Blitz: "Or I'll... uh... uh, I- I'll call HR!"
*Silence, then Verosika/me, Blitz, and Vortex bust into laughter. And then back to seriousness*
Verosika/me: "Anyway, meet my new Hellhound... Vortex. Unlike you, he actually does his job well." *leaves and flips Blitz off* "Ta-ta fuck stain."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they do not know where home is.
What do black men in the NBA like about going to the locker room after they are done playing basketball?
Receiving golden showers from other black teammates.
What do emo kids and apples have in common?
They both hang off trees.
What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?
There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.
What do emo kids and bananas have in common?
They both hang on trees.
Do not like, dislike, or comment on this joke.
My teacher asked the class to stand up if you're dumb. No one did, so she said, "Come on, someone must be dumb," and pointed over to the left side of the classroom. Lil Jonny stands up. "Do you think you're dumb, Lil Jonny?" asked the teacher. "No, I just feel bad for you. You're the only one who stood up," replied Lil Jonny!
Why do girls wear classic rock T-shirts? Because they are stupid little bitches who need to grow some fashion sense because wearing old shit doesn't make you unique.
What do women and chess have in common? When you sacrifice the females and replace them, you are more likely to win.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common? I fucking hate their whiny asses and beat them up.
Me: Hey, do you want to see my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
How do you make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles!
Why do black men have nightmares?
Because the only one that had a dream got shot.
Why can’t Hitler do track?
He can’t even finish a race.
