DoS jokes
Mommy, mommy! Do we own a sweatshop?
Shut up and keep sewing!
What do you call a surprised Chinese man?
Ho Lee Fuk.
"What's your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir." "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, "No sir, my dad has a stutter, but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk."
My mother caught me jerking off and she told me to leave it out. I didn't know what she was doing but she grabbed my cock and started sucking. Then I found out on porn she was doing deep throat.
A couple of weeks later my dad caught me jerking off, I thought he would deep throat, but he just walked up to me and slapped my boner. I cried for 5 hours. Luckily my mum gave me a sloppy joe afterwards.
What does a noisy chilli do?
It gets jalapeno business.
Why do orphans hate playing baseball?
'Cause they can't get a home run.
Why do New Zealanders have sex with sheep on the edge of cliffs? They push back harder.
What do you call someone who has sex with foals, calves, and lambs? A Quadrupedophile.
Why do girls scratch their eyes in the morning?
Because they don't have another pair of balls.
If you're bored, joke about an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What thing can an orphan do best?
Stay at home alone.
What do you call it when a cow gets disciplined by her parents?
Grounded beef.
What do you call a cow that fell up the stairs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a sleeping cow?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow who's personality is down to Earth?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow that skydives without a parachute?
Ground beef.
If you make jokes about SH, you're not funny, and if you do, I'm gonna assume you're some 12-year-old who wants to be an edge lord. I don't really care if people get pressed.
A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.
Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”
“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”
What do you call 6 gay men having a fight?
Rainbow Six Siege
What do you call a black man in the dark?
- Nothing.