Why do violists smile when they play? Because ignorance is bliss, and they don't know what can't hurt them.
DoS Jokes
Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.
Did you eat Chef Boyardee's food?
No, why?
Boy are deez nuts so big.
Do you know Wildee?
What's that?
Will deez nuts fit into your mouth?
Why do orphans prefer iPhones under the iPhone X? Because they have a home button.
What do you call a once that's an insect?
A creepy crawly.
What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
Why do emo kids not get phones? Because the phone dies before them.
Why do emo kids sneak up on their Vietnamese grandfathers? Because they hope the war experience kicks in.
Why do trees never call emo kids? Because they always hang up on them.
I like telling jokes about orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.
If you are ever mad, punch an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
I can do a very good Michael Jackson impersonation. I just need a kid who can keep a secret.
How many skinheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
10; 1 to do it and 9 to back him up.
What do you call a fake speedrunner?
Dream.
What do you call a Barbie doll that’s wearing scrubs?
A plastic surgeon. 😷
What do you call a pickle sandwich?
A Big Mac!
I gotta do terrorist :)
I was at school one day, and my teacher gave me homework. Once I got home, I did not do my homework, but I watched TV. After the movie, I finally went to go do my homework. I was almost done with my homework when I got to the last question. I didn't know the answer, so I asked the closest living being to me, which was my dog, and I asked him: what's two minus two? He said nothing.
