DoS jokes
What do you call a sped kid in a wheelchair that caught on fire?
Hot Wheels.
If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?
The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.
What do you call a gay BBQ? LGBBQ.
What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.
How do you make an emo jump? Tell him to go to the roof.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, Here's hoping you do too.
Why do emo kids drink only herbal tea? Because proper tea is theft.
Why do orphans cry alone?
They do not have a mom's lap to sit on and a shoulder to cry on.
What do you call a hung autist...
Dead.
Why do the orphans fuck in their cars?
Because they don't know what a home is.
What do you call a man who loves Adidas and Puma and drives a Volkswagen? Potential Nazi.
What do orphans and homework have in common?
Everybody forgets about them.
Peter: *curses* Sam: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Peter: Ha, joke’s on you! I don’t have a mother.
Tony, having a heart attack: ASFJDHJWNSGREGEJDHFWVWHUSYSG PETER, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey, do you wanna hear a joke?
No, I'm already looking at one.
You: I have a nice hairline.
Your friend: Since when do you have one?
You: I forgot.
How do you fit 3 gay men on a bar stool?
Flip it upside down.
Teacher: "What do you think is your purpose in our society?"
Me: "To reduce the population by one."
Are you still a virgin?
If you do IT
With no one?
What do snow and friends have in common? If you pee on them, they disappear.
Dentist: Open up, sir.
Me: So... I hate my life, my family, my sisters, my dog, my cat, and I tried to take a bath with my toaster, but my dog took it. That's why I hate my dog. And my cat died trying to chew my rope; it choked... Yea.
Dentist: I... meant your mouth... so I can clean your teeth.
Me: :O Ohhhh, my bad.
Dentist: Do you need help??
Me: Yep.
Dentist: ...
Me: ....