DoS jokes
What do you think was going through the heads of the 9/11 victims on floor 43?
Floor 44.
What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.
Hey, I’m George, and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.
Go into someone’s search history, and find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.
Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans?
Why do emo kids hate high fives?
They’re always left hanging.
Why do orphans go to church?
It's the only place where they can call someone "father."
What movie do all orphans find relatable?
Spiderman: No Way Home.
What do you call a blind German shepherd?
A Nazi.
What do pears and emo kids have in common?
They both be hanging.
What do you call a group of cops having a sleep over?
Pigs in a blanket.
What do you do when your cat's not home?
Answer: You play with your neighbor's pussy.
So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.
About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."
What do you call a useless piece of **** on a cock?
A: A man!
Q: What do you call a black prostitute in space?
A: The Blackhole.
What do Spider-Man and orphans have in common?
There’s no way home.
What do you call a swimmer from Iraq?
A bath bomb.
What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower?
Unemployed.
Q: What do you call a group of transgender women?
A: The X-Men.
Why do orphans eat water with their cereal? Because their father never came home with milk.
Joe: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
Ben: I don't know.
Joe: They both look good until they hit the ice.
Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.