DoS jokes
Why do Mexicans eat tacos?
Because they're border hoppers.
Once at school, a teacher thought I was Russian. Why do you think that? I said. The teacher replied, because you're reading from Right to Left.
Q: What do you call a pervert with no legs?
A: A creepy crawly.
Why do apple trees like emo kids?
Because they like to play yoyo with them.
What do you call a surprised Chinese man?
Answer: Ho Lee Fuk.
Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500.
The first replied: "For 500€? Of course!"
The second said: "I'd do it for free!"
The third replied: "I would even give her 200€!"
The fourth replied: "With my ex? Never!"
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
They actually come back.
Hondo's dad and mum went up the hill to do it in the water.
Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a Hondo.
What do super fancy music conductors wear?
A Louis baton.
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
Why do they make glow-in-the-dark condoms?
So gay people can play Star Wars.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
What do you call a black guy on the moon?
YOU RACISTS! An astronaut!
What do you call an autistic kid with a minigun?
Special forces.
I have returned. Anyways, what do you call it when you're actually in Panera Bread, being in Panera Bread?
What do you call an orphan who takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive subject.
"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he replies.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter what you call him, he won’t come anyway.
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”