DoS jokes
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
What do Orphans say on Father's Day?
Well, not "Happy Father's Day."
What do you call an orphan's family picture?
A selfie.
Boss: Can I do a reference check?
Me: I don’t have a...
*sensei appears*
Me: oh no
Sensei: He was a good student, but he lacked kizma.
Boss: What's kiz...
Sensei:😈
Me: Oh no, here we go.
Sensei: Kizma AS-
What do you call a fat downie?
A couch potato.
What do you call a bunch of autistic kids in a box?
A toolbox.
Why are most politicians in the closet or gay?
Because all they can do is mandate.
What do dentists call their x-rays?
Tooth pics.
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
I tried to make a pun about cheese, but I couldn't think of any good "whey" to do it.
How do you organize a space party? You "planet" with some "cheddar" and "brie"-pare for launch!
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
What do you call a pile of cheese? A cheese grater.
How do you prevent a physics teacher from drowning? Shoot her before she touches the water.
What's the definition of suspicious?...
A nun doing sit-ups in a cucumber field. 💀
What do you call a blind German man?
A Nazi.
What do you call a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bill Cosby?
Predator.
What do babies and explosives have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
What do you call a gay retard? Fruit and vegetable soup.
What do you call a Chinese millionaire?
Cha ching.
What do sharks and humans have alike? The great white one.