Domestic life jokes
Have a sink in your house? Eat it.
Have a mouse in your house? Kill it.
Have a child in your house? MICROWAVE IT.
...just kidding. Now watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5tjtUFL0j4
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My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won't stop complaining about their mom.
The other day my wife said, "Take me someplace I have never been before!" I said, "Why don't you try the kitchen?"
Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.