Divorcee jokes

Why won't cannibals eat divorced women?

Just too bitter.

Mickey and Minnie are getting a divorce. The divorce lawyer says to Mickey: "Mickey, you can't divorce Minnie because she is crazy," to which Mickey responds: "I'm not divorcing her because she's crazy, I'm divorcing her because she's f**king Goofy."

I broke up with my girlfriend, so I stole her wheelchair, and guess who came crawling back.

Why do some couples make their status "single" after a small argument? Like, I don't put "orphan" after I get into an argument with my family.

I had a horrible nightmare yesterday. I was in a room filled with all of my ex's, so I was completely alone.

The last thing I told my ex after we broke up was, "At least we're still cousins!" 😂