Dissection jokes

Autopsy

399 views ·

A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was, "She was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?" The wife replies, "Perform the fucking autopsy!"

Prostate exam

162 views ·

I go in to get a prostate exam. I'm nervous, but the doctor says it's all natural and needs to be done.

So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside, feeling for abnormalities.

That's when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.

Lawn

99 views ·

What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?

Nothing, I cut both of them.

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  • Suicide

    48 views ·

    If you slit your wrist while crying in pain, that's self-harm.

    If you slit your wrist but have no expression, that's acting.

    It isn't any of those if it's suicide.

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