Disowning jokes

Me: Want to hear a joke?

Friend: Sure.

Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me.

Friend: What's funny about that?

Me: Because the next day they disowned me.

Who do you call someone that steals his brother's girlfriend and [is] disowned by his whole family? Brandon.

Orphans can be gay, no problem, because they have no one to disown them.

I don't like to use the word "kidnapping". So I just use the term: "surprise adoption."

One man's trash is another man's treasure... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.

Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horses, and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.

I'm an orphan, lol.

Son: Dad, am I adopted?

Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center, do you really think I would pick you?