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What is 6" long, bright red, and your wife cries when you feed it to her?

Her miscarriage.

A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.

He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.

The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.

Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"

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    • What is the difference between lettuce and a hamburger?

    When the lettuce runs, the hamburger cries.

    Friend 1: I HATE YOU!

    Friend 2: *cries* b-but i-i didn't s-say that!!

    Friend 3: *writes on paper with pencil cuz is so bored*

    Me: *points at pencil lead* NOW NOW NOW THIS HAS *LEAD* TO SOME SERIOUS FRIENDSHIP LOSS! Plz shut up.

    All my friends: *groan at horrible pun*

    A man awakes in a hospital and is confused. He decides to feel his legs, but to no avail.

    "Doctor, doctor!" He cries out.

    "What is it?" The doctor asks.

    "I can't feel my legs!"

    The doctor stands there for a moment - completely dumbfounded.

    ". . . That's because I amputated your arms."

    Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"

    "Are you sure?" asks the other.

    "I'm positive!"

    Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.

    What's 6ft long, red, and my girlfriend cries when I feed it to her?

    A miscarriage.

    what's the difference between an onion and a baby?

    nobody cries when you cut up the baby.

    Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries.