Cremation jokes

What did they do with his body when he died?

They made him into Lego so kids can play with him for once.

Before I die, I'm going to ask to be cremated.

Then I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels.

Then I'll die and get cremated. BOOM! I'm popcorn!

When I die, I want my body to be cremated.

And fucked! Fucked really hard, papí!! Like a real whore!! Like a real tramp!! Stuff your entire cock in there!!! Uhh!! Uhh!!

Setting: Funeral Home

Customer: Yes, I was considering what would be the best option for cheap cremation, but I feel that's silly to ask.

Funeral Director: Oh! We do have these nice urns over here at a discounted 75 percent off.

Customer: Okay? What's the catch? That's almost 300 dollars off?

Funeral Director: I assure you these are top-of-the-line urns and will keep your loved ones' remains secure and dry.

Customer: Okay?

Funeral Director: Yep, these have only been used once, so it is absolutely worth the purchase.

By: MiniMemorials.com

An old man saw the TikTok trend of people throwing it back. The old man wanted to do it with his wife. The man set up everything needed and did the video. He threw it back first, then his wife, but instead of an old lady, it was ashes.

What is the difference between cremation and smoking?

While you are smoking, you don't go up in smoke.

My uncle got really badly burned the other day.

They don't fuck around at the crematorium.

Place a man in a morgue, he'll try to leave. Place a doctor in a morgue, he'll go to work. Place a necrophiliac in a morgue, he'll stay happy for a week.

What is sprinkled around the Pokémon floor? Oh right. Ash's ashes.

Sans: I like eating ketchup, don't believe me? It's ASRIEL as it gets!

UT Sans to UT pap: You FORGHETTIE the spaghetti!!!

Ink sans: umm lust? That's INKAPPROPRIATE!

Fell sans: I hate these double standards...if you burn a body at a crematorium you're doing "a good job," do it at home and your "destroying evidence."

Error sans: Every time you make a typo, the errorists win.

I hate double standards. If you burn a body at a crematorium, you're doing a good job. If you burn a body at home, you're destroying evidence.

I hate these double standards.

Burn a body at a crematorium and you're doing a good thing, burn a body at home and you're destroying evidence.

Why did the family get mad at the boy for eating at the funeral? While trying to season his food, he mistook his cremated grandfather for salt.

Cremation,

The last chance for a smoking hot body.