Cost Of Living jokes

Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.

Being alive is so expensive, I am not even having a good time doing it.

Why is the lesbian lifestyle so expensive? -- They're always eating out.

... and they buy Rolexes for their neighbors, because they wanna watch.

My friend, while we are shopping and I'm telling her about my mental illness: "You're priceless."

When we get to the checkout: "I'm actually $2.50."

Don't bother; just try to live in England.