Cornell jokes

Frat party

    • Cornell has announced that they will be banning frat parties in the wake of the "Cornell 7" case. With this new policy, students will be forced to conduct all ketamine-fueled orgies in their dorms, which may limit these activities to just 6 men each.

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    • University

    • New degree plans announced by Cornell University:

    - Frat Studies, includes classes in acquiring ketamine and arranging threesomes with your homeboy and some random girl.

    - Sorority Studies, includes classes in oral sex, binge drinking, and bullshitting after the fact.

    - Consent Theory, teaches the new generation that "Yes" means "No" and your problems can all be solved by regretting your own poor decision-making (the shop's still open btw).

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    • Diet

    • I hear scientists have been experimenting with a new diet at Cornell University: just straight meat for 7 hours a night, all night long, with a side of alcohol to keep the shop open.

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    • Farmer

    • I hear Cornell produces very dedicated farmers; they’ll plow a field all night long no matter how much resistance she gives ’em.

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