Cigarette Lighter jokes

Three men are on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. So, they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

My friend, you lit my mind: that's what the lighter said to my thighs.

I saw a sign the other day that said "Maximum penalty for smoking is £1,000."

But that's not right. Surely the maximum penalty for smoking is Death.

The Toaster, otherwise known as the ultimate bath bomb.

You know, eBay sucks. I was looking for a lighter, and it gave me 18,906 matches.