New Catholic Priest Jokes - Page 2

Why did the Italian American Roman Catholic priest perform fellatio on gay men at the glory hole inside the adult bookstore?

Someone asked him what would he do for a Klondike Bar?

Why did the Polish Roman Catholic priest remove zippers from the pants of gay men in the LGBT community?

Because he lost his key to his house and he was desperate to get back inside of his house and he thought that one of keys to their zippers would be able to unlock the door of his house.

Why do Catholic priests suck on the cock of a young boy in his parish?

Because it tastes like a Vienna sausage.

What do you get when you cross a bisexual male that is a catholic priest and a christian police officer that is a bisexual male and a born again homophobic heteroflexable male that is a christian nationalist who is in the closet a gay man that needs to be force out of the closet by any means necessary?

What does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common? They both ask people, "Where's the meat?"

What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common?

They both like to dump their loads into little kids.

One night when I was six, I had this super annoying accent, and when I said the number "six," Oh no... One night my Catholic priest asked me how many cookies I needed for my family. I told him six, but thanks to my accent being mixed with many others including Scottish, French, and Russian, it sounded like I said "I need to have sex." He looked at me strange then pulled me into a closet, being a pedo.

When Momma asked me why I was missing for 6 hours, I told her, "I went to get the cookies like you told me to, and father raped the Christianity out of me." The angry look she gave my father was amazing. Then with my Papa, she beat the hell outta him.

Serves him right.

Why did the Catholic priest suck dick at a glory hole?

Because someone asked him what he would do for a Klondike bar.

How do you trick a Catholic priest into using the glory hole at an adult bookstore? Tell him it is a confessional booth.

What does McDonald's and a Catholic priest have in common?

They both put their meat in 10-year-old buns.

What job do you want if you don't want people's twos since?

A Catholic priest.

Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they're all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there's no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”