Carrier Bag jokes

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a carrier bag? One is plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other is a carrier bag.

What do Michael Jackson and Tesco carrier bags have in common? They’re both made out of plastic and harmful to children.

Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?

Weird Kid: Magazines.

There is an upside to being an orphan. Every bag of chips is family size.

I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.

The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.

When I'm bored, I go into an elevator with a full duffle bag. Once people come in and the door closes, I zip open the bag a little bit and whisper to it, "I'll get you some food once we get off."

I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. -- I lost my case.