So, I'm sitting here smacking on some cheese ball BBQ my titties, and then I felt a shoe get shoved all the way up my ass. I cried, then turned around and said, "MOTHERFUCKING COCK SUCK FUCKIN GAY ASS HOE SHOVIN SHOE’S UP MY ASS SON OF A BITCH!" Then turned around, punched, and got smacked in the face. Went in for another punch, got smacked in the face, then people staring at me. I said, "WTF r u starin at," I punched as hard as I can, then got knocked out. I though this this isnt over motherfucker imma find u and kill u next thing i new i was in the hospital they told me why tf were u fighting a stops sign? I said what u were fighting a motherfuckering stop sign i sad bitchi aint crazing yo head a stop sign son of a bitch fuck my pussy u must be high! hai es a bitch muhfuhcka
Canning Jokes
So, I'm sitting here smacking on some cheese ball BBQ, my titties, and then I saw the most a shoe got shoveled all the way up my ass. I cried, then turned around and said, "MOTHERFUCKING COCK SUCK FUCKIN GAY ASS HOE SHOVIN SHOE'S UP MY ASS SON OF A BITCH!" Then turned around, punched the guy, got smacked in the face, went in for another punch, got smacked in the face, then people staring at me. I said, "WTF are you staring at?" I punched as hard as I can, then got knocked out. I thought this, "This isn't over motherfucker, I'm gonna find you and kill you." Next thing I knew, I was in the hospital. They told me, "Why tf were you fighting a stop sign?" I said, "What? You were fighting a motherfuckering stop sign?" I said, "Bitch, I ain't crazing yo head a stop sign son of a bitch fuck my pussy u must be high! hai es a bitch muhfuhcka"
A man can form Jupiter girls came from Venus, and other genders came right from Uranus.
Son: Mom, can I borrow $50?
Mom: What? NO WAY! Do you think money grows on trees?
Son: Mom, what is money made of?
Mom: Paper.
Son: Where does paper come from?
Mom: . . .
So, a guy is evading the draft. The cops bang on his door, and he runs out the back, through an alleyway onto a road. He finds a nun and asks if he can hide under her blouse. She complies, and the cops walk by and don't see them. The man comes back up from under the nun's blouse and says, "Hey man, you've got a pair of balls!" The nun says, "I didn't wanna be drafted either..."
When someone keeps talking while you are trying to focus on something, what is the rudest thing you can say to them?
SHUT UP!!!
Q: Sex is great, only your mate can sometimes be a little nuts!
(I am still a single young virgin.)
-->[] go through the door if you can.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ken.
Ken who?
Can you walk the dog for me?
A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"
Kid: I want to be like Batman.
Genie: I can make arrangements. The kid comes home, both of his parents are dead.
Genie: I told you.
Kid: .............................................
Kalyn: Mrs. Frizzle,
Mrs. Frizzle: Sure.
Kalyn: Can you spell I-C-U-P for me?
Mrs. Frizzle: Shut up, you little fucktard!
What is the best type of girl to fuck?
Homeless girls, because after, you can drop them off anywhere.
Q: Why can orphans swim?
A: They have or-fins.
What can hold anything on the moon? A crater.
What type of cake can orphans not have?
Homemade.
Why did my mother buy me a Honda? She knows I can't move, so she pushed my wheelchair with me in it into the ocean. I survived just by a second, but a shark got my wheelchair, fucking bitch.
Boy: "Mister, can I get candy?"
Mister: No, you shit head.
Boy: Why? :(
Mister: Because I'm not your dad.
What can change color and get beat up?
You.
How can you tell that a woman cannot fit through a vent because she got pregnant from a baby elephant? Ain't no telling who's in better shape, the elephant or the woman. I guess it's probably Weight Watchers.
