Canning jokes
Husband: I look fat, can someone compliment me?
Wife: You have good eyesight.
My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.
She's not the only one who can play that game.
Superman and Flash were in the living room pounding back a few beers. Flash says to Superman, "I bet you can fly into Wonder Woman's bedroom and get the best pussy of your life." So he does it. When he goes back to Flash, Superman says, "Man, that was great, but my ass kinda burns."
Q: What can turn a fruit into a vegetable?
A: AIDS.
A girl asked, "Can I have some nuts too?"
Boy: "Sure, what ones ;)"
What did the orphan say to the house? Can I live here?
Why do orphans like to go to church?
Because they can finally call someone "father!"
What can happen if you bring a hooker into a stranger's house? He will ask you, "Really, are you nuts?"
How can you tell that a woman is asking for sex? Wait for her to drop a bomb on you.
I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.
What can you tell [as] a difference between [a] man and a woman [in a] relationship?
Both of them are just full of shit.
Gwen sassy: Hi here, my credit card. Don't get it wet, it is too much!
Unknown: Okay!
Gwen sassy: Man, I am late, can you move along! Much!
Unknown whispering: Sexy!
If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents!
Hahaha come on people, they don't have parents, we can do what we like with them...
Rape...hurt...and sell them!
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
Hi guys, I am starting a Gwen funny club. If you wanna join, then just type so here. Hope you have fun!
Oh, and also can be a Gwen name club for Gwens only!
Who thinks people should stop doing orphan jokes? Type here so we can talk about it.
Why can Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bat.
How do you put a baby in the blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?
How do you get it out? Tortilla chip.
How do you put a baby in a blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?
How do you get the baby out? With a tortilla chip!
What do you call a man who can fly? A flying man.