Bullet proof jokes

(First Person): Knock knock, who's there? (2nd Person): Lemme talk to you, when we finna slide, what we finna do, knock knock, who's there, time to make a move, slayin' all then demons and we gotta move in too.

(Second Person): Knock knock, (1st p): who's there, let me talk to you, be careful where you steppin' out cause you ain't bullet proof, knock knock, who's there? time to make a move, block is full of shooters, and they didn't come to hoop.

Why was the American kid late to school?

Because he was too busy putting on his bulletproof vest.

A condom and bungee jumping are exactly alike, if the rubber breaks, you're f**ked.

I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and I'm not gonna die the same way.

Three citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI. Their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot her. He walked out in shame and said he couldn't do it. The second guy had the same scenario. He put the gun up, but couldn't pull the trigger, so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario. He walked out and told the instructor, "The gun wasn't loaded, I had to strangle the bitch."

Children should never run with scissors, and lesbians should never scissor with the runs.

When you're fighting with the emo kid and he brings his friends. Now you gotta fight the suicide squad.