What kind of bug can tell time? A clock-roach.
Bug Jokes
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Half of it. 🐛
A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."
The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"
The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."
What’s the difference between Hitler and a bug?
Nothing.
My Grandmother died last month. The thing that bugs me to this day, I couldn't understand her last words... through the pillow.
Why do you like cream instead of bugs?
Because bugs can kill you.
Please folks, you can hit the thumbs up button on the ones you like. There is no need to repost.
Anyways,
Knock knock Who's there? Can I come in? Can I come in who? Can I Come In You!?
More often than not, I will cry when I masturbate. Some nights I'm a real tear jerker!
But on the nights and I smoke a lil pot and then masturbate, my dad ends up bugging me because I am a weed wacker.
How do you keep a dog from humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick.
How does Popeye keep his manly part from rusting? He sticks it in Olive Oil.
Snow White and the seven dwarfs are in the the tub feeling "HAPPY". Happy got out now they are fucking "GRUMPY".
What's worse than waking up and finding a "Penis" drawn on your forehead? Finding out it was "Traced".
If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster what would you have? 3 feet of my cock up your ass.
Did you know Batman was actually Black? Yeah he couldn't go a night with out Robyn!
Did you hear Gods Word Of The Day? Its Legs! Now lets go out and spread them.
What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs? Cunt-sway-low
Whats worse than sucking 25 oysters out of your Grandmas Pussy? Realizing you only put in 15.
Little Johnny's dad was driving him to school when they came up on a couple in a convertible. It was apparent that they were arguing. You could then see the woman pull out a knife. Seconds later, his dad saw a penis land in the windshield. Worried little Johnny will see it, he quickly turned on the wipers and brushed it off.
"What was that, Dad?" asked lil Johnny. "Oh, just a bug," said his father. With a confused look on lil Johnny's face, he then says, "That bug sure had a big dick, didn't he?"
Yo, if you don't stop bugging Watersharky, we'll all go down!
"I was walking in the yard yesterday and a bug stepped on me. Why, you ask? Because the bug didn't know I was there."
What do you get when you mix a fly and a rabbit?
Bugs Bunny!
Why do bugs hate the internet?
Because they always get caught.
Get it? Inter-net?
What did the human say to the fly when it was buzzing around the human's head?
"Would you stop bugging me!"
What is Bugs Bunny's favorite dessert?
Chocolate carrots balls.
You know why Elmer Fudd always came out hunting rabbits in the woods? Because Bugs Bunny would not stop flirting with his girlfriend.
Why do you have to wipe yourself with toilet paper? Because bugs can crawl, eat your poop, and drink your pee!
What kind of bug lives in a graveyard?
A zom-BEE.
If Bugs Bunny had Down Syndrome:
"Meeeehh, what's up, Downs?"
How does a skeleton kill a bug?
They SOCKET!
God creates a wasp :)
God: Okay, so make it reeeeally tiny. Like less than half a fly.
Angel: okay... a bug.
God: now give it's face a sword, but it has a hole so it's basically a mouth.
Angel: weird.. but okay...
God: and give it wings.
Angel: eh, not half bad Go-
God: NOW MAKE IT EAT THE BLOOD OF ALL LIVING ANIMALS AND HUMANS
Angel: *shook* o-okay
God: okay. Now make sure whenever a human is bit it feels the pain of a million suns burning it, making it scratch until it bleeds out.
Angel: . - .
God: and make sure it also transfers diseases through the species. Give 'em a taste 'o that! *evil grin*
Angel: *cries*
Angel: *whispers; I'm so sorry..*