Bloody Mary

Bloody Mary Jokes

Husband

How did "Bloody Mary" become a thing?

Because her husband beat her bloody when she didn't stay in the kitchen.

Mama

Your mama is so ugly, she summoned Bloody Mary.

She handed her an application through the mirror.

Vampire

Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks, “A Bloody Mary?”

The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me.”

“Hot water?”

“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea.”

Vampire

Why do vampires drink blood?

Because they can't drink Bloody Marys because they are vampires.

Mama

Yo mama so ugly, Bloody Mary handed her an application through the mirror.